dating

Dumped by Anal

When I wrote my previous rant “dicks online” I didn’t expect I’d come across another comical mankind story. It’s not my personal one, just to be clear:)

Here it is! You are online chatting to a nice bloke for hours and hours and hours, talking and joking about different things, including what you’d dare doing in the “bed” department and all that…happy chatting…The date is set. Dress sorted.

On the Day, the lovely bloke that you’ve already planned out to be the man of your life, the greatest husband ever and best father to your kids…blabla…sends you a message destroying your slightly  premature life plan. Ouch!

Simply because he remembered that anal wasn’t exactly on top of your bucket list of preferred sexual practices. So the anal lover was rather kind and saved you both the precious time by dumping you. No anal, no man! What a shame you piece of… ! Feel free to fill in the rest of the sentence as you wish.

But let me try looking at it more positively for a bit. At least he was apologetic and honest about it from the start. Thank you for not meeting a dick like you who’s brain is literally clouded with nothing but ass holes. Why don’t you try it yourself and let me know how enjoyable from scale 1-10 the experience was for you before imposing such condition on someone else before even meeting them!
You will never know now, she might have turned out to be the woman of Your life who would grow to enjoy those precious ANAL moments with you! Your loss….

….to be continued….

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dating

Dicks Online

I don’t know if I should proudly announce that I haven’t done any online flirting, dating in my 30+ years but the more I hear about crazy encounters my friends have experienced, I will stick to my “virgin” status for a bit longer. But in the meantime, I’ll share what I’ve heard so far. What on earth possesses some men after saying the usual “hello gorgeous” (fair enough) to then sending a photo of their dicks?!! (lucky you if you get one with a bonus of Spiderman underpants! How sexy!!)

Do you honestly think that we will get aroused momentarily just looking at your bits or is it meant to be some sort of healing perhaps?? If I wanted to see something like that, I’d rather find some decent porn where I can actually chose what to look at! 😉 No offence guys but your dicks aren’t exactly the most attractive thing. Yes it is there for obvious reasons but do us a favor and keep it in your pants at least until you’ve met someone in person (ooh, and it might be an idea not to flash it in the street either – sorry, I’ve heard that happening to someone too!).

Saying all this, there’s nothing wrong with such racy pics if that’s what does it for you (I don’t reside in any nunnery if that’s what’s crossed your mind reading this) so enjoy it whilst you can, good for you.

 

 

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