dating, life, marriage, men, women

Crashed Souls

I was in a couple of long-term relationships and in both cases believed that it was done thing. For life. Phew. No more lengthy dates, going on and on about the same shit trying to impress when actually all I wanted to do was to be in my bed, pigging out, farting away (that too) whilst watching crap on Netflix.

I did believe it was to last for life until the moment when I got lost. I felt more lonely and sorry for myself in my last relationship than a single person. I didn’t know myself anymore. I forgot what I liked, what made me excited, upset, happy and literally ended up functioning like some emotionless zombie. Apparently I was very good at bringing the worst out of my other half, which was hard to hear without wanting to punch his face in. Still kinda want to do that to this day (“hmm, is that a bitterness I can hear in you?” – brilliantly “intuitive” councilor asks me). Bringing the worst out of each other is most definitely not a life lasting personality nor compatibility mix no matter how much you love that person. Loving and destroying one another at the same time is a pretty heartbreaking affair that you need to get out of as soon as possible.

Five single years have passed now and I find myself so upset for my close friend who’s pretty colorful marriage has been slowly but fatally crashing down. When I listen to more and more of her home truths, all I can hear is echoing of my own voice  all those years ago.

Where’s my feisty friend gone? Strong mother of two who’s never taken NO for an answer? What’s happened to my partner in crime, with whom having endless coffees and stupid chats was once a bliss! I am baffled and so so sad. The longer her soul is being crashed, the more time it will take to refill it with love, peace and strength again. I am here for her as long as it takes but unless she’s ready to accept that this can’t go on like this, the clock for new beginning won’t start ticking. I know because my soul is still deeply scarred and as a result of that, I have shut off myself from any ideas of getting closer to anyone. Simply put, I cannot be bothered, as bad as it sounds, and I don’t even know how to start opening up again as my self-defence wall is pretty strong to break at this moment in time. But I know it will happen some day, and if not, that’s fine too.

Maybe if we really stay true to ourselves every step of the way in every aspect of our journeys, life can truly be a beautiful thing to be grateful for.

I hope that my friends and family will continue to fill their souls with happiness, peace and love for one another. And maybe, I can contribute to that too…



Are women who swear less attractive?

My close friends told me I’ve been swearing more and more lately…! now…I don’t like a lot of criticism but I know they are not say it maliciously so it’s fair enough and point’s taken. It’s just made me think about women swearing and whether it is unattractive to the point of even turning men off. Admittedly, when I heard a woman swearing at a retail customer services staff a while ago, my first impression of her was of a vulgar person from some grotty estate; says the one swearing like there’s no tomorrow!! no judgement there, clearly!

But then, here’s another thing – if someone is well spoken and dressed well and swear words tend to slip out now and then – is that less unattractive than if it was someone common looking?? Are our acceptance levels of swearing linked to our social status? i.e. working class, middle class and so on….or am I looking at this from a totally wrong angle and it is just ‘black and white’ matter – swearing / not swearing, full stop.

One of my male friend’s view is that ‘common’ swearing is disgusting but ‘classy’ swearing is totally appropriate. And also that “if it is swearing for the sake of it, then it’s unattractive in anyone but pointed swearing is totally acceptable” I should’ve asked him to clarify what exactly he meant by ‘common’ and ‘classy’ swearing but I guess that brings me back to what I meant in my question regarding the social status.

This can lead to a debate.

My other excuse for swearing is (and hopefully some others might agree) that swearing in a second language (in my case English) doesn’t feel that wrong and doesn’t bother me as much as swearing in my native mother tongue.  Trust me, my mama would slap me hard for it, no matter what my age!
And to top it all off, I’ve found the below article by The Independent paper, which links swearing more to a high IQ – so maybe I am onto something here:)

Yes, Moist

So, you know the typical office scenario – people buy cakes, even better  people bake cakes at home (well, in some cases better!) competing one another – blame the crazy “British bake off” mania. And then someone goes “wow, tastes great, so light and so  M O I S T!!!!! BOOOM! the REACTION!!! women’s faces squeeze like when eating the sharpest lemon or gherkin in the world and they almost look like Shar Pei puppies:) No offence anyone.

MOIST MOIST MOIST MOIST …so it can be related  “the air was moist and heavy” or “her brother’s eyes became moist” – another word for slightly wet; damp or humid…

or as pretty obvious, women think of a lot of things but cakes! typically…sexually lubricated (of the vagina), sexually turned on. So why is it that bad?? It’s not like we would cringe if we could have the best time of our lives with the most gorgeous looking men. In between the bed sheets clearly! So when the magic happens …. you do need a bit of m…t! Oops, might be a bit of too much detail for some, sorry…hmmm, I’m not really.

This makes me think, does the “Fifty shades of grey” novel feature the M word? I wouldn’t know as I haven’t read it but seeing women on tubes and trains looking shocked and giggling with blushing cheeks…myabe it does…?

 Anyways, this is my humble point of view so if you like it, good and if not, keep it to yourself;) 


CAMEL TOE dilemma

I’m going to go straight to the point here. Here we go. I know what camel toe is but have I seen one staring right at me before?! I’m trying to keep professional at that awkward moment and look away…how has this happened?? Do I tell them and embarrass them or do I mind my own business? I decide to leave it and ask my friends for their opinion later. It’s pretty funny how this subject can turn into a mini debate. Some say it’s probably body anatomy, wrong size underwear or too skinny jeans/trousers…you decide.

On another note, I’d love to know what runs through men’s minds when they “meet & greet” camel toes? Do they find it off-putting, slightly on a cheap side maybe or weirdly attractive at all?? Honestly, I have no idea, no joke so if any men read this, enlighten me please.

I’d like to believe that I’ve never had this problem before (if you can call it a problem) and if I ever do and I’m not aware of it, I’d hope that my friends would have the courage to tell me. I can think of one or two of “straight talking” girlfriends who would definitely say something silly to laugh it off.

I’ve asked one of my male friends if he’d say something to his wife in such situation and his answer did make sense. If they were out on town already, he wouldn’t probably say anything as it would most likely spoil her night out (hmm, or more likely his night?! just kidding). If it was more of a closer to home situation where she could do something about it, he’d definitely would point it out (I’m sure in the most sensitive way possible to avoid being slapped).

What about you, would you say something??